Архив:Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman Recreate Space Jam
Материал из ВикиФур
| Авторы | College Humor |
|---|---|
| Дата | ? |
| Место публикации | оригинал |
Script[править]
Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman Recreate Space Jam
By Ben Joseph
KIM JONG UN wheelies a motorcyle through frame, leaving the
TITLE CARD behind him: THE ADVENTURES OF KIM JONG UN.
SINGER
Kim Jong Un! Kim Jong Un.
INT. BASKETBALL STADIUM
Kim Jong Un, in a jersey with a North Korean flag on it,
dribbles down the court. Two players in bland, grey uniforms
try to stop him, but he throws a perfect fade-away shot and
they trip over their own feet. WHOOSH! The ball goes in.
ANNOUNCER
And Kim Jong Un wins the Korea-ball
championship once again!
CHEERING. The Robot Minister hands KJU a large trophy.
ANNOUNCER (CONT'D)
Truly he is the best at this sport
invented in Korea, then stolen by
craven, uncreative Westerners.
The stadium SHAKES. A SPACESHIP crashes through the ceiling
and lands center court. YAO MING and four ALIENS step out.
YAO MING
KIM JONG UN! I, Yao Ming, and also
these aliens, challenge you to a
ball game! Accept or bring great
shame to all of True Korea!
Kim Jong Un nods. Yao Ming leans in close to him.
YAO MING (CONT'D)
Assemble your best players and let
the game begin.
Kim Jong Un focuses and splits into FOUR DIFFERENT PLAYERS.
(They all have slightly different facial hair, one is bald
and black.) As this happens, the Robot Minister explains:
ROBOT MINISTER (V.O.)
Kim Jong Un, as shown in earlier
episodes, can split into four
equally powerful Kim Jong Uns. THIS
IS NOW CANON!
YAO MING
(unfazed)
An impressive trick, but you are
still one player short!
DENNIS RODMAN (O.S.)
How about me?
REVEAL, holding a basketball: DENNIS RODMAN!
ROBOT MINISTER
GASP) Denzel Rodman! Award-winning
actor and Korea-ball player!
DENNIS RODMAN
Man, Kim Jong Un and I have had so
many crazy adventures together, I
just had to help a brother out.
As he talks, we see posters for DOUBLE-TEAM, SIMON SEZ,
(Dennis Rodman movies) and TRAINING DAY, all with KIM JONG
UN'S FACE pasted on the supporting actor's face.
LOLA BUNNY (O.S.)
So... I guess there's no spot for
me on the team then, huh?
In a SEXY (creepy?) PAN UP, we reveal LOLA BUNNY from the
movie SPACE JAM. All the Kim Jong Un's jaws DROP. The
original Kim Jong Un, without turning his head, raises a
pistol and SHOOTS one of the other Kim Jong Uns in the face.
INT. BASKETBALL STADIUM
An INTENSE JOCK JAM plays. PAN ACROSS three Kim Jong Uns,
Rodman, and Lola Bunny as they face off against Yao Ming and
his team.
DENNIS RODMAN
All right, buddy, LET'S DO THIS!
Kim Jong Un nods. As he and Yao Ming go up for the tip off,
STATIC CUT TO a SIMPLE TITLE CARD. A NARRATOR reads it:
NARRATOR
Kim Jong Un judged the animator's
depiction of his Korea-ball skills
unsatisfactory. Their deaths were
swift and voluntary.
NEW TITLE CARD:
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
He decided, in his infinite wisdom,
to animate the sequence himself-
ABRUPT CUT TO VERY CRUDE STICK FIGURE ANIMATION. (Each shot
should literally be 2-3 frames. )
KIM JONG UN (V.O.)
- Kim Jong Un dribbles a ball. Yao Ming has DEVIL HORNS.
- Kim Jong Un passes to Dennis Rodman.
KIM JONG UN (V.O.)
(stops humming)
"You are my main man, Kim Jong Un!"
- Kim Jong Un jumps over Yao Ming's head. Dennis Rodman
passes back to him.
-Kim Jong Un SLAM DUNKS the ball! Yao Ming's head explodes
and he poops himself in amazement at the same time.
KIM JONG UN (V.O.)
(his own theme song)
Kim Jong Un! Kim Jong Un.
- Lola Bunny runs up and KISSES Kim Jong Un. Dennis Rodman
gives him a HIGH FIVE. A speech bubble over the two other
Kim Jong Uns says "We're leaving now," and they walk off.
BLINKING RED LOWER THIRD: HOME VIEWERS: COMMENCE APPLAUSE
NOW
STATIC CUT BACK TO REGULAR ANIMATION: Dennis Rodman, Kim
Jong Un, and Lola Bunny stand triumphant, when the HEADLESS
CORPSE of Yao Ming pulls itself to its feet.
YAO MING
This isn't over Kim Jong Un! ALIEN
ALLIES! TO ME!
The aliens leap onto Yao Ming in rapid secession. They GLOW
and congeal into a GIANT, HORRIBLE AKIRA-TYPE BLOB MONSTER!
SCREAMS OF HORROR from the stands. Kim Jong Un just stands
his ground. Dennis Rodman runs up behind him.
DENNIS RODMAN
Yo, Kim Jong Un, onto my shoulders!
Just as your father would have
carried you, was he not so busy
with important state matters!
Kim Jong Un nods. He hops on Rodman's shoulders. Dennis
Rodman JUMPS and they fly into the sky. ANGLE ON Lola Bunny,
holding a GLOWING BASKETBALL.
LOLA BUNNY
This ball is charged with my
undying affection for you!
Lola Bunny throws Kim Jong Un the ball. He SLAM DUNKS it
into the Yao Ming-monster's mouth. RAYS OF LIGHT shoot out
from its body. Cut in CLOSE as a SINGLE TEAR forms in its
eyes:
YAO MING
(with regret)
I searched both China and
America... But the true Korea-ball
master... Was here all along...
BOOM! The monster explodes. Denzel Rodman lands back on the
court, Kim Jong Un still on his shoulders.
DENZEL RODMAN
Wooo-eee! That was one crazy
adventure, huh? How 'bout some ice
cream?
Kim Jong Un nods. That would be nice. PLEASANT MUSIC plays
as they run off, then suddenly...
BLAM BLAM BLAM! SNIPER BULLETS take out both KJU and Rodman.
They collapse.
WHIP TO, high in the stands, KIM JONG IL looking through a
sniper rifle! He moves his eye from the scope, and reveal,
with a dramatic sting, his face to be half CYBORG! GASP!
ROLL CREDITS over an ALBUM COVER of Kim Jong Un and Dennis
Rodman rapping together.
DENNIS RODMAN
(rapped)
Another adventure has reached its
end / Kim Jong Un is my best friend
/ Kim Jong Un is my best friend-
(no lip sync)
-oh God please rescue me.
END.
Credits[править]
- cast
- Dennis Rodman — Jermaine Fowler
- Robot Minister — Caldwell Tanner
- Yao Ming — Mike Trapp
- Lola Bunny — Emily Axford
- Kim Jong Un — Caldwell Tanner
- Announcer — Mike Trapp
- Narrator — Sam Reich
- crew
- Director — Ben Joseph
- Writer — Ben Joseph
- Producer — Amanda Madden
- President of Original Content — Sam Reich
- Vice President of Production / Executive Producer — Spencer Griffin
- Director of Production — Sam Sparks
- Director of Post Production — Michael Schaubach
- Production Manager — Jeremy Reitz
- Post Production Producer — Lacy Wittman
- Animation — Studio Joho
- Post Production Coordinating Producer — Amanda Madden
- Production Legal — Karen Segall
- Production Accountant — Christine Rodriguez
- Assistant Production Accountant — Erin Marshall